- Saying things like "You wanted kids". We did. We still do. We don't want to give them back. We just need help coping. Pregnancy Related Depression and Postpartum Depression are medical conditions. Would you tell a woman who smoked who was suffering from lung cancer- "You wanted to smoke." Probably (I hope!) not.
- Asking if we want help. Just give it. Most women suffering from PRD and PPD are already weighed down with guilt and feelings of inferiority or not doing it right/normal/better and will often not ask for or admit we need- or want- help. Just come over, without judgements, and take the baby- tell us to take a relaxing shower. Clean our house. Make us call the doctor. Get us moving and talking- and keep at it until we are really okay. I had a great friend who called me several times a day, often showing up and putting the baby in a stroller and taking us for a walk. (Thanks Micky!)
- Saying things like "Well, I had (enter number of kids here) and never had a problem". Lucky you. You were one of the 87% percent of women who don't suffer from PPD. Either that, or time has colored your memories a little too rosy. No matter, it's not helpful. In fact, it hurts. And it is one of the most common things we hear. Really. Especially by older family and friends- like parents and in-laws- I know, it's hard to believe because it sounds so cruel in print. See # 1 people!
if you love us,
tell us what you can do to help.